BC Senior Class Apologizes to Rice, Awards Her Golden Scepter
by Dood Abides
Condoleezza Rice accepting academic "Golden Scepter" award from Boston College senior class

Chestnut Hill, MA (Rotters) - Hours after Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice's commencement address at Boston College was met with protest, the graduating senior class attempted to make amends. In a small ceremony afterwards, they awarded Ms. Rice with a gold plated model of the School's academic scepter, a completely functioning small scale replica.

The campus was a-buzz with the news of the controversial peace offering as parents and students went their separate ways to individual and family graduation parties.

"I think this was the right thing to do," said a graduating senior, "It's really wrong to protest and offer no solutions. If we disagree with her harsh diplomacy all over the world then it becomes our responsibility to encourage her to change. Hopefully, the next time that she finds herself alone at night in a foreign country contemplating actions which will effect us all, she will be able to utilize this gift that we have offered, and stay her hand."

Rice was said to be taken aback by the size of the gesture from the seniors, becoming a little emotional and flushed. "As I said earlier at the address," stated Ms. Rice, "There is nothing wrong with holding an opinion and holding it passionately."

Rice was scheduled for a short stop over in KY before her return to Washington, DC on Wednesday.

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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

Your Comments

Juana Duet wrote:
Hey nimrods, "effect" is a NOUN, not a VERB. Remember what those are? Or were you too stoned in English 101 and slept with your professor to pass?

"contemplating actions which will effect us all" should be:

"contemplating actions which will affect us all"

It's called "ENGLISH." Try using it when you get the chance.

no one in particulate wrote:
My goodness such a display of AFFECT... ; )

effect[1,noun]effect[2,transitive verb]Auger effectBohr effectCoriolis effectdomino effectDoppler effectedge effectfield-effect transistorgreenhouse effect

Main Entry: 2effect
Function: transitive verb
1 : to cause to come into being
2 a : to bring about often by surmounting obstacles : ACCOMPLISH <effect a settlement of a dispute> b : to put into operation <the duty of the legislature to effect the will of the citizens>
synonym see PERFORM
usage The confusion of the verbs affect and effect is not only quite common but has a long history. Effect was used in place of 3affect as early as 1494 and in place of 2affect as early as 1652. If you think you want to use the verb effect but are not certain, check the definitions in this dictionary. The noun affect is sometimes mistakenly used for effect. Except when your topic is psychology, you will seldom need the noun affect.

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