December Playboy Cover featuring Nude Ann Coulter
by Dood Abides
Ann Coulter bares all this December for Playboy and WILT

LosAngeles, CA (APE) - She's been abhorred for years as the most downrated person on the internet, which means... aw heck, you know what it means. People love retching over Ann Coulter.
What it hasn't meant, all these years, though, as all those thousands of disappointed freepers know, is seeing even one picture of this 18th-century tossup queen without anything strategically covering her.

No longer.

At 44, Coulter, who has been scintillating fans with her own brand of historic revisionism, has posed au natural for Playboy. The December issue, with her on the cover, attacks newsstands Friday. The pages of pictures on the inside leave readers scrambling for imagination.

It was for a good cause, Coulter, almost 45, explained when Associated Press Extraterrestrial caught up with her, fully loathed, at her undisclosed location.

Q: Why now?

Ann Coulter: My decision to do Playboy is literally one week in the making. I've always chided others for taking their clothes off and posed as the girl next door. I'm the number one right-wing talking head, and for years I've been known as "The Queen of Slime", all while keeping my clothes on, and that's taken some real discipline. Every couple of years when Hef would call I would graciously decline, because it would kill that whole androgynous legend that I've got going for me, and I thought that I could maintain the mystery by keeping my clothes on.

But this year, when I got the call from Hef, it was almost my 45th birthday. The Republican party had just received a humpin', so I thought, "Wow... at 45, America doesn't want us anymore?" And I thought it's almost an epiphany... like a "F--- 'em all!" moment. I feel empowered that you can criticize other people's morals and yet still be single, with no children, sexy and confident, and then bare all for the world.

Q: So what's the story on the androgynous deal?

Coulter: I feel proud of myself. I work out really hard, and people will just have to decide for themselves. The reason that I wanted to do it the most is because I am posing for a purpose: a portion of the proceeds from each issue sold is going to my charity.

Q: That would be...?

Coulter: I am the celebrity spokesperson for WILT, the national anti-erectile function association. It stands for Whitebread Ideology Less Tumescence. If you think about it, this last midterm election in which the Republican Party received such a humpin' was all because of this vast priapism of the party over the last six years that resulted in all the scandals. My charity is devoted to wresting control of erections from the parties and putting them back in the hands of voters. Celibacy is not just for Paris Hilton anymore.

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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

Your Comments

tiburocin wrote:
Yikes, the only issue that won't have any sticky pages.

Dominus Noster wrote:
Give me a break. Like Ann Coulter would have such a body. She is an ugly, emaciated looking thing.

MarchDancer wrote:
Um, doesn't she look like she's been on a perpetual diet,the kind that leaves nothing but skin and bones? Bilumia maybe even? Guys, you'll have to tell me I guess, but I thought skinny went out with Twiggy in the 70's. Yuck!

Didn't leave a "liked it" or "didn't like it" 'cause I really don't care.

Billy joe Brownhare wrote:

jim reilly wrote:
It would be nice if it were real. Let's see the real Ann Coulter nude with the 911 wives. What a show and in prime time.

JOHN wrote:

SALLIE wrote:

Mike wrote:
I think she is so hot!!! Makes me want to "do things" with her!

James L wrote:
makes me want to torture her. She does support people who think torture is a good thing so I'd love to give her a taste of her own medicine!

(seriously. I'm a nice guy.. I'm a liberal I would never do it myself but I'd pop some popcorn and watch as it was done!)

billreef wrote:
This goes to show Playboy could make a genius out of George Bush with their airbrush department.

Jim_Mac wrote:
As appealing a thought as it would be to experience her nude, I think she is a bit oo thin. She needs some meat on her bones.

(About 175 pounds worth....)

Keith R Warner wrote:
Hope it's full frontal. Wanna see the dick that goes with that Adam's apple.

Mac wrote:
Her father died last Friday. I wonder if she'll show up and Hannity & Colmes any time soon and make some smart-ass remark about how "he was going to die anyway," then giggle, crack her bubble gum and flip her hair back behind her ear. My only regret is he didn't take her with him.

scubaguy wrote:
She is a beautiful, articulate woman - I've met her in person before and have read all her books and all her columns. I doubt if any of you who criticize her have read a single one of her books. Oh, and yes, her body doesn't look like that picture, but she does have a great body and very petite, girl next-door-ish look to her.

ron y. wrote:
I hear Ann Coulter gives world class blow jobs if you obey her as to who
to cast your vote for . . .
right now her candidate is Billary.
Perhaps the two of them are closet lesbs.

Thomas Tew wrote:
I don't care what any of you say. Yes, her politics suck but she is still fine as hell. I'd bone her any day of the week.

Die Hippie Scum wrote:
She is hot. As for the liberal (James L) who would like to watch her tortured...I wonder how your liver would taste with some onions and bell peppers.

Mark Willette wrote:
I think you are brilliant and sexy ,a hard
to find package I love ya ann

Likes a real Lady wrote:
I think half of the men who posted in here must hate her so much because some gay men are just afraid of a real lady (obviously). She is a beautiful lady, who speaks straight forward instead of in circles, has firm opinions and is very bright. She also has a killer body, she is one fine lady, anyone hating on her has to be a closet case.

Elias wrote:
I think she was born a man's penis and her body grew around it as she got older. Her diet or food intake consisted of red / yellow delicious, granny smith ,gala,etc,etc! (checkout her neck if you don't believe me)(lol)AS FAR AS HER BEEN naked I'D HAVE TO TAKE A PEEK FOR A QUICK LAUGH! :o)~~~~~

adele wrote:
Wow! What have we here. The poor woman is takin apart-with close on!

Joe mama wrote:
I'd bang ann coulter for sure

HENOTIC wrote:

Alex wrote:
I'd definitly hit it.

Bunsuffer wrote:
Okay, I'll look for this issue, but only if (s)he's dropped her panties for actual hole-shots.

I must admit that I too would bang her -- in the uncomfortable place.

Bunsuffer wrote:
Okay, I'll look for this issue, but only if (s)he's dropped her panties for actual hole-shots.

I must admit that I too would bang her -- in the uncomfortable place.

FuFFbay wrote:
@ Bunsuffer:

You do know that's Cindy Margolis' body with Ann's horsey-man face on top of it, right?

Jay wrote:
I love Ann, she's hot !!

ldsknack wrote:
You losers are all wimps. I pray to GOD everyday that we have men watching out for our country. Please move to Canada or better yet, Venezuela, to worship with Sean Penn at the feet of Chavez.

chris wrote:
At least she has the B_____ s that most of other people don't, She does what she wants to and folks you just need to suck it up, Do you folks not realize that she looks great mentally, physically as well as her whole state of being is more than most negative folks that put others down. she has the class and brass to say what most of us think. way to go

D R Hosie wrote:
Come on guys :) That's one of the most obvious photo-shopped job of putting someone's head on someone else's body.

Why anyone would want to screw-up a beautiful pix like that, with Ann Coulter's mug, is beyond me ;)

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