 Anchorage, Alaska -- Since her triumphant ascension to vice presidential nominee, recreational wolf hunter turned politician Sarah Palin has repeatedly boasted about her faux maverick decision to reject a federally funded, $400 million, pork barrel "bridge to nowhere" in 2007.
However, the project enjoyed the governor's enthusiastic support throughout 2006, before it had become a national sign of wasteful government spending
Now, a second leviathan bridge project – one that would link the largest city in Alaska with Palin's hometown of Wasilia – is being heartily endorsed by Palin, even against the backdrop of running mate John McCain's vehement, drumbeat opposition to earmarks.
At a price tag of $600 million, the bridge-and-highway project, aimed at improving the transportation infrastructure for the town's 7,000 residents, averages out to a cost of about $86,000 per person.
Final go-ahead for the pork-laden project was made possible by earmark legislation drafted by Republican Rep. Don Young.
"This is pure, unadulterated pork," declared Uncorked Bust, a McCain spokesman, before he realized that the pet project had the governor's blessing. "I mean, the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge only cost about $350 million, and it serves what, 9 million people?"
At press time, Bust, fearing reprisals from the Palin camp, was desperately seeking a retraction of his comments and requesting extra security details to be provided to John McCain.
"This is not another bridge to nowhere," insisted Palin spokeswoman Amoral Malice. "Because if it is, that means you're comparing Wasilia to nowhere, and I don't think you want to do that. You've already compared the governor to a pig, and you see where that got you, don't you?"
It was not clear who Malice was addressing.
Adding to the controversy are reports that the bridge could ultimately drive the extinction of the Beluga whale. But the governor has already proposed a solution to that.
"We can preempt that problem by declaring open season on the irrelevant little critters," said Palin to enthusiastic applause at a local cannery.
"Well, I guess they're not so little, which makes them that much easier to hit from a helicopter! After all, if this evolution thingy everyone is talking about is so real, then we're just playing the role of natural selection."
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