Alaska Orange Goo May Be Eggs of Extraterrestrials
by NickFun
Scientists have determined that the orange goo found in Kivalina, Alaska may be eggs from an unearthly civilization
Scientists have determined that the orange goo that washed up in Kivalina, Alaska is actually tiny eggs, most probably deposited from a crashed meteorite or even a UFO.

"It's certainly nothing from this Earth", said Snedly Farber, a lead scientist with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration at Auke Bay in Juneau. "These eggs may be from a distant planet with conditions similar to those found in Alaska".

Farber claims the eggs do not resemble anything found on Earth and they are still investigating.

"We plan on hatching the eggs to see what they turn into!" Farber exclaimed. If they seem to be developing into an intelligent life form they will be destroyed!"

Most people interviewed didn't seem concerned with the remarkable find. "It looks like most excellent caviar", said Cecil Rothschild, a real estate billionaire. "Perhaps we can put some on crackers and see how it tastes".

"I don't care what it is", said Los Angeles stockbroker Sall Cummings. "I never go to Alaska. It's cold up there!"

NASA officials are also taking part of the goo for more extensive studies. "That stuff could come from Mars or Enceladus or somewhere in our solar system", said NASA Administrator Charles Bolden. "If it is and those creatures plan on taking us over then we can all bend down and kiss our collective asses goodbye!"

Bolden also reminded us that the goo may be just fish eggs.

 
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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

Your Comments



Kushtekof wrote:
They are Genetically Modified Eggs developed by the Corporate States of America authorized by the Terrorist Agency known as the Corporate owned and sponsored terrorist FDA against any thing that is ORGANIC such as Alaska's Salmon, Halibut & Cod!

Similar to u.s. corporate destruction of Ukraine's Organic Farms via swine flu + bird flu + black lung + black mold combined with liquid high nitrogen fertilizer.
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Richard wrote:
why destroy we need intelligent life forms.
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nickfun wrote:
You're right Richard! We don't have any here on this planet yet!
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Tonia Jean Jordan wrote:
Most Interesting.
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Justin Case wrote:
This story is almost worthy of The Onion. Almost.
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nickfun wrote:
Justin are you affiliated with The Onion or are you just a wise ass?
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blob wrote:
Best to nuke then from orbit - just to be sure.
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Runnynoze wrote:
What a joke. This is an obvious hoax especially since, the orange stuff was already identified as crustacean eggs. You know, Crabs.... Orange eggs....Crabs....get it????
Boy oh boy.
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nickfun wrote:
You bet Runnynoze! This story is pure bullshit! I made it up! Hardly a kernel of truth to be found! However, no one knows what kind of eggs they are or how they managed to amass in such quantity! Maybe the story is true after all!
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Malina wrote:
I hate you guys LOL!! I believed it!!
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Blueberry wrote:
I like the hype of "It's certainly nothing from this Earth", said Snedly Farber, a lead scientist with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration at Auke Bay in Juneau. "These eggs may be from a distant planet with conditions similar to those found in Alaska". Then in another educated scientist says NASA officials are also taking part of the goo for more extensive studies. "That stuff could come from Mars or Enceladus or somewhere in our solar system", said NASA Administrator Charles Bolden. "If it is and those creatures plan on taking us over then we can all bend down and kiss our collective asses goodbye!" And finally another comment from the brilliant mind of a science geek Bolden also reminded us that the goo may be just fish eggs. THe sky is falling the sky is falling and then we have the likes of Gorebull warming unbelievable....Oh and what about the lies of the polar bear...Science of man all theory and bull.
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The Sosa wrote:
Lol I think something scared the crap out of a GIGANTIC school of pregnant fish and voila, tons of salmon eggs.
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nickfun wrote:
Sosa there aren't that many salmon in the world! And by your suggestion we should have huge piles of salmon shit, not eggs.
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Willy P. Wackenpooter (the third) wrote:
I dunno 'bout you guys but I'm going with the "put 'em on crackers" idea....I mean think about it....a delicious snack with a Ritz and some cream-cheese washed down with a lightly chilled Hi-brow beer...mmmmmm mmmmmm mmmmm good
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nickfun wrote:
Willy that does sound good! Assuming, of course,, that thesee eggs aren't toxic. Bon appetite!
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dylan m. wrote:
After extensive humanoid research, my data shows that these orange reproductive cells have extremophile bacteria which can survive even the most extreme space conditions and the cells show the same structural bioinformatic characteristics as Aryans (origins of Pleiadus Star Cluster). Unlike most extraterrestrial breeds, Aryans are oviparous humanoids and reproduce from ovum production. We to destroy the larvae before hatching or Earth is in extreme danger
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